The Victor Vs Victim Syndrome in Life and Learning

There are some people who seem to breeze through life, rejoicing from one triumph to the next. By contrast, there are others who never quite make it, and always have a reason why life has dealt them a hard blow. Society is made up of victors and victims, and the difference can very often be boiled down to one key factor – attitude.

When moving in a new career direction, it’s essential to learn the habits of the victor to achieve a successful outcome.

The victims attempt actions in a timid manner, hoping for good things, but never really believing they’re worthy of great things. Victors commit mentally to a successful outcome, and back their actions with emotion.

Take two tennis players about to play for a championship. One says “It’s my last chance – I’ll give it my best shot,” but the other says “Winning is my destiny.” No prizes for guessing who’ll win the tournament. They may both put in the same hours, but the victor spends more time on his mental training to win.

The victor is defined by the word OAR – a figure paddling towards success. The victim is defined by the word BED – one who stays in bed and gives up. OAR = Ownership, Accountability and Responsibility. BED = Blame, Excuses and Denial.

The victor takes ownership of his or her tasks, not expecting someone else to lead the way. He’s accountable for his actions, and so takes them seriously, seeing things through by tackling problems not creating them. He’s responsible for the results of his actions, and so doesn’t take excuses from himself.

The victim always has a reason for not achieving, and it’s rarely to do with him or herself. Everything is always someone else’s fault – he feels out of control so lays the blame at someone else’s door. He makes excuses for his under-performance, not realising the only person he’s convincing is himself. After repeating this pattern of blame and excuses for long enough, the victim lives a life of denial, convinced that there’s absolutely nothing he can do about his situation.

Students approaching a life-changing training program need to give themselves a mental work-out, to stack the odds in their favor. Anyone who’s a fully paid up member of the victim society will have to address their issues before they start, to truly embrace the potential in front of them.

Both sets of attitudes are just habits, and with constant repetition, habits can be changed. Listen to the voice inside your head – if it sounds like a victim, then stop it and verbalize why you can achieve. No one is any better than you – some have just fought their demons and emerged victorious.

As Churchill said, “There is no such thing as a hero, only those who rise to the occasion.” In learning as in life, we need to have the attitude of a winner in order to become a winner.

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